The Journey to Self Discovery

  We have the ability to create our own reality. For the most part, we can look at a situation and see the good or we can look at the same situation and choose to see the bad. Often times the lens we use to view what’s happening is filtered by our thoughts. Positive thoughts create more positive circumstances. Alternatively, negative thoughts contribute to feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment. Therefore, changing our negative thoughts is essential to achieve happiness and peace. The following are the most common negative thinking behaviors. Becoming aware of these is essential to transforming negative thoughts into positive beliefs. Stay away from “all-or-nothing” thinking. When we slip into “all-or-nothing” thinking we see our circumstances as either black or white with not much in between. By shifting to someplace in the gray, a fresh perspective is created that helps us to realize more options do exist. To lead an emotionally healthy life we need to have ba...

For much of my life, I was a people pleaser. I tried to please my parents, bending to their expectations and hiding parts of myself to fit their vision of who I should be. I tried to please my siblings, quietly accepting roles that didn’t reflect my truth, just to keep harmony in the family. I was kind to a fault, always putting others first, even when it meant sacrificing my own happiness and well-being. I thought kindness would make me lovable. I thought if I gave enough of myself, people would value me, care for me, and protect me. But instead of finding safety and love, I lost myself. I tried desperately to fit into the box others constructed around me, but the truth is, I was never meant to fit. I was always too big, too bold, and too complex to be contained by anyone else’s expectations. Yet, I allowed myself to shrink, to contort into shapes that weren’t natural, just to avoid conflict or disappointment. My need to please others started early. When I was abused at the tende...