The Journey to Self Discovery

We've all had that one someone that always criticized everything that you've did or not even to give you positive reinforcement.  Both wear away at your self-worth and self-esteem.    N egative criticism does not only hurt emotionally but can also hurt your interests, or about what you are interested in… Most negative criticisms are not even true.  They are often more of a first response by, people who don't really know about your situation. Even if the criticism is technically true, it’s not worth paying attention to. John Maxwell said that life is 10% of what happens to me, and 90% of how I react to it. Negative criticism calls attention to what we may or may not be weak at. If someone was to tell me that I will never be a great writer because I can't spell. I would have to say… “yes”, it's true that I can't spell. But that’s what spell check is for.  And I may never be the best writer out there, but as long...

For much of my life, I was a people pleaser. I tried to please my parents, bending to their expectations and hiding parts of myself to fit their vision of who I should be. I tried to please my siblings, quietly accepting roles that didn’t reflect my truth, just to keep harmony in the family. I was kind to a fault, always putting others first, even when it meant sacrificing my own happiness and well-being. I thought kindness would make me lovable. I thought if I gave enough of myself, people would value me, care for me, and protect me. But instead of finding safety and love, I lost myself. I tried desperately to fit into the box others constructed around me, but the truth is, I was never meant to fit. I was always too big, too bold, and too complex to be contained by anyone else’s expectations. Yet, I allowed myself to shrink, to contort into shapes that weren’t natural, just to avoid conflict or disappointment. My need to please others started early. When I was abused at the tende...

Since the recovery of my motor vehicle accident, I decided to take this second chance that life gave me with both hands. I was determined to live my life to its fullest and share my gifts with the world. I had (and still have) many coaches and learned from numerous mentors. The expansion and growth within myself, are something that I treasure enormously. I realize at a very deep level that the only premise to change your life, to live freely and create the life you have always dreamed of, is to change your own beliefs, to change your mindset and to raise your awareness. These are the signs which are the most prominent for me when a person starts to grow: 1. I don’t sweat the small stuff any longer Since I realized how precious life is, how quickly things can turn around, I don’t worry anymore about the small stuff. Will the laundry be done in time? Will the neighbors talk about my husband leaving? What will my colleague think exactly abilities now? You know at the end...

  I noticed something within myself coming out through my words and, as you know, words are definitely power. I found myself relinquishing my power negatively by not acknowledging my abilities. Early on in the day, I had posted an encouraging quote like I always did, admonishing others in their walk in life. People were giving me admonishments for all I had done for the community of survivors, and I immediately thought I was not worthy. I responded finally by saying, "No,  WE are great!"   Looking back, I said, damn how damaging! I had spent so much of my life feeling inadequate, forgetting all the amazing things I had done. It was like a gaping hole in the middle of me, never satisfied. I couldn't appreciate a compliment because my no self-esteem worked against my memory and acceptance of my reality. I was always trying to measure up to someone or something that didn't exist. But then I realized something: we are all kingdoms. Our bodies, our minds, our souls,...