Return to Your First Love: Reclaiming Your Voice and Self-Worth
For much of my life, I was a people pleaser. I tried to please my parents, bending to their expectations and hiding parts of myself to fit their vision of who I should be. I tried to please my siblings, quietly accepting roles that didn’t reflect my truth, just to keep harmony in the family. I was kind to a fault, always putting others first, even when it meant sacrificing my own happiness and well-being.
I thought kindness would make me lovable. I thought if I gave enough of myself, people would value me, care for me, and protect me. But instead of finding safety and love, I lost myself.
I tried desperately to fit into the box others constructed around me, but the truth is, I was never meant to fit. I was always too big, too bold, and too complex to be contained by anyone else’s expectations. Yet, I allowed myself to shrink, to contort into shapes that weren’t natural, just to avoid conflict or disappointment.
My need to please others started early. When I was abused at the tender age of five, I learned quickly that speaking out, showing emotion, or stepping outside the boundaries of what was expected of me was dangerous. I internalized the belief that silence was survival, and fear became my constant companion.
The box I lived in wasn’t just emotional—it was a box of fear, silence, and pain. I nearly suffocated in that box, holding in my truth and burying the parts of myself that longed to cry out for help.
📢 False truth: I was made to believe I was an expendable, disposable child.
That lie became a defining part of my identity. I believed that my worth was tied to how much I could give, how much I could endure, and how little space I took up in the world. I became kind to a fault, often to the point of my own self-destruction. I thought that if I gave enough of myself—if I was good enough, quiet enough, compliant enough—I could finally earn love and belonging.
But kindness without boundaries is not kindness at all. It’s a form of self-neglect. And for far too long, I neglected myself.
📣 Today, I know better.
Being kind to myself means breaking the silence. It means stepping out of that box and speaking my TRUTH, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it shakes the foundation of old relationships or challenges the roles I’ve played for so long. Speaking my truth is an act of love—for myself and for others who are still trapped in silence.
Being kind to myself means rejecting the lie that I am expendable or disposable. It means embracing the fact that I am valuable, worthy, and deserving of love—not because of what I do for others but simply because of who I am.
It also means being present for other survivors. I know what it feels like to feel small, silenced, and unseen. I know the pain of carrying burdens that aren’t yours to bear. And I know how powerful it can be to see someone else stand in their truth and say, “You’re not alone. You can heal, too.”
💛 I will continue to be kind—but now, that kindness is rooted in strength, not self-sacrifice. 💛
Kindness is no longer my prison; it is my power. It is how I reclaim my story, how I honor the little girl who learned to stay silent, and how I show up for the person I’ve always been meant to be.
To anyone who is still trapped in their box of fear, silence, or abuse: You are not expendable. You are not disposable. You are worthy of love, joy, and freedom. And you have the power to break free.
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