How to Navigate A friendship when it Changes.
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People have taught us how to change a relationship but have never taught us how to navigate while in relationship change.
You see navigation through good or bad change takes effort on your part to be alert from the neck up. It requires guts not to quit. Now I am not talking about abuse so please d9 not send me emails about asv9cating staying in an abusive relationship or atmosphere. I'm talking change. And after weeks of meditation and inner woek 9n. My self I've c9me to realize that change happens because it's supposed to happen and we are supposed to realize that change acknowledging and be happy in whatever form it is you see me in school finding socializing making friends we were making relationships and through the years they became bonded invested and created see if we were to think back to when we were in high school we had friends that we were friends with from 2nd grade 6th grade 9th grade and although our family Dynamics with different we stayed in touch we still respected those boundaries it somehow gets muddled when we are closer in proximity The Sisterhood still continues the Brotherhood still continues the Friendship still continues even though there's been a change we don't seem to recognize that even though some people to not stay in touch or because of their life change to not stay in touch as much we have to realize that we all grow different ways we may come from the same tree for the same type of plant weather seems seed we grow different ways so why not embrace the change be excited for that person be supportive not standoffish but be supportive and say you can do this you got this I'm here if you need me. Some people don't even like hearing the word I'm here if you need me. I was one of those people because I felt I didn't mean anybody to be on the upswing I didn't need anybody to push myself through and as I got older I realized the sole purpose of this body is to be in relationship with other bodies see we can be in spiritually in tune with everybody or nobody but the body itself the physical body has to be in relationship it has been created it has been built it has been molded to have Sensations to touch to feel to acknowledge.
As a survivor of sexual abuse those Sensations were ignored because they were either shameful or not appropriate. I had forgotten how to feel I had forgotten how important it was to be in connection with people. If we look at the Bible Jesus is all about personal connection I need a we hear people talk about Jesus love Jesus kindness Jesus Joy but we never ever see them put it in action we hear their mouths and then gums flapping but we never actually feel that connection oh yes they hug us oh yes they kiss us but there's never that connection because they go back to that part that I said the body is ignored the body as they taking it Jesus ignore that part because we got on the cross you know. It's not true Jesus was very in touch with people I'm very in tune so should we. Our relationships are extremely important and we have to learn to navigate through them properly. Is disengaging the correct way is ignoring the correct way is silence between you the correct way is going the other way the correct way? I think the truth is lies within you I think he reads action to the change realizing you it comes from your past so if your silent because of a relationship change and most the time it's nothing but gross that's what I'm talking about a relationship change of growth now you know the person dies yes it's going to be grief to the death. But I'm talking about when you grow different ways. That doesn't mean that you go different ways but you grow different wings. And it's commendable but your response for your option to that growth from whether it be your mother is Sister your brother cousin your best friend your longtime friend your school time friend the children and all the way down the line how you react to that growth lies in you. What I mean by that is if you are disgruntled unnerved and edgy and standoffish you are not reacting well it has nothing to do with you but then it has all to do with you. So what do you examine why you feel that way. Let's just narrow it down and say it's jealousy because it is it's the rarest truth and his jealousy how do you get past jealousy in a relationship how do you get past being upset that someone's growing past you. I'll tell you like it was told to me if I steal it we all have different paths to take and sometimes that path does not require two people it does not require three people it does not require five people it requires you to be single And available it requires you. So we don't need to be hostile we don't need to be standoffish we don't need to be we are very concerned that they'll never be your friends anymore we need to be happy because of the growth is happening and accept that it's your time to be individual. You see, somewhere aong the way we in high school as friendships we bring it together with the same thing as we talked to the same way we read the same books we bought the same bad we didn't become individuals. But as time went on we changed but I different haircuts and different hairdos but you notice like some friendships still remain the same and when you go to meet them again whether you went off and did your thing and they can't we came back and met each other it was like we never parted why because we were genuinely happy for them. We have to be genuinely happy for people as individuals not as a collective CA Collective. UC being genuinely happy for someone I'm being a friend to that person takes guts it takes being able to see someone in genuine love grow to see if we think about people friends cousins mom's dad's Sons and Daughters as trees that need to grow and you're part of that fertilization can you give that light we would not be so easy to let go of relationships when they change. I used to think that some people always had it made they had children that were graduating from school and doing all these magnificent things and their lives were on the upswing and I completely forgot that God uses people where they are I completely forgot that no soul no tree is not worth appreciating I'm so when you go to compare people he's got to change it's not our job to compare it's just our job to be the fertilizer with prayer for the change. change in a relationship has to be navigated We're going to ground going to have to Phoenix. Since so we have to realize that we're going to be different because about experiences so we have to realize that so jealousy has no room anger has no room in relationships we are here too have successful relationships to navigate successful relationships. I want you to realize and put in action your ability to navigate friendships whether there are different political views where there are different talents different personalities weather did you something that you don't like in that person which is really something that is in you do you have to get past that you have to be your original Self because relationship with other people show relationship with yourself I'm going to say it again relationship with other people show relationship with yourself so how do you navigate that with being original and real with yourself have I really been honest loving and kind to that person because I haven't been honest and kind to myself. So being original and being real in a relationship requires you be real with yourself and that's asking questions that get you there that's asking yourself those questions to get you there. I you know I have a new book coming out called the big ask and that's about asking yourself those questions so that you don't be stuck. Asking yourself the questions that don't make you stock. so what are you get out of this hole summation here that we are here to have relationships we were created in the body to have relationships we are here to be individuals we are here to navigate relationships because they do change not because they stay the same see each other sisters brothers sisters mothers friends as trees that are growing they will soon have beautiful leaves blue beautiful blossoms and you as the same but individual and you will still have that opportunity when you are grateful for them I'm grateful comes back to you